


see you later

by 127ghouls



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Doyoung is only mentioned, Happy Ending is what Jaeyong deserves, JaeYong - Freeform, Jaehyun is an asshole, Jaehyun is older, M/M, Mentions of Death, Poor baby Taeyong, References to Depression, Romance, Taeyong is 17, Taeyong is younger, past dojae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 02:10:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/127ghouls/pseuds/127ghouls
Summary: Jaehyun travels to another city to look for a reason to live, only to find it in a blind boy.





	see you later

**Author's Note:**

> This is a remake of my old story of a different pairing. I altered the ending. The original is totally different from this - and it's as tragic as tragic can get. 
> 
> I changed the names so if ever I missed one, I'm sorry asdfghjkl I'm not proofreading.
> 
> Enjoy reading!

What time is it again? How would he know? He doesn't even know what day it is, only that it's December and the snow is piling up on the doorstep. Honestly, he's not even sure. What does the neighborhood look like? Is it pure white? Did Mrs. Han put up decorations on her balcony like she did a few years ago?

_What time is it?_

Jaehyun opens an eye to look at the bedside clock, screaming 4:30 A.M. He didn't even catch a wink of sleep; the distractions and constant thoughts in his head wouldn't shut the fuck up and leave him in peace. _Damn it,_ a curse slipping past his dry lips. It won't make a difference, getting a good sleep or not. He will never have a peace of mind.

The kettle whistles and he makes himself a cup of coffee ten minutes later, bed unmade and clothes scattered on the floor. It's been two weeks since he last did his laundry, but Jaehyun stopped taking note of the schedule, so he isn't sure about two weeks. Maybe three.

"Later. Maybe later." The coffee is black, no creamer to hide the bitterness as the hot beverage touches his tongue. He's used to it, both the darkness and pain. He rarely turns on most of the lights; just that one bulb at the dining area is enough to provide a dim lighting until the small space of his living room. The darkness soothes his nerves and keeps his heart racing at the same time though it's ironic, he thinks with a snort, because he doesn't feel alive. He's a living dead.

Jaehyun thinks it's useless to continue living, waking up every single day without knowing what date it is, just that the month is changing just like the season. He's anxious no matter what and all he can think of is _why the hell am I awake? Why the hell am I still breathing?_ All he consumes is coffee and bags of unhealthy junk food, sometimes a bowl of actual food that his mother, his saint of a mother sends when she feels like it. That can be counted in one hand for the past three months.

"Jaehyun, you need to eat. Do you really want to die just like that." It's not even a question, it's a reminder of what he's doing and why he's doing what he's doing. He believes there's nothing more to anticipate in this world, nothing more to live for, nothing beautiful to look at just like... _him_.

It's stupid, he knows it's stupid because people come and go. Nothing is permanent. The only permanent thing in the world is change and fuck that concept because he didn't ask for it. Why does that kind of reality even exist? Did it exist to hurt everyone? To hurt him?

Jaehyun laughs before  he gulps the last bit of his coffee. People come and go - but Doyoung forgot to inform him about it when he appeared in Jaehyun's life and swept him off his feet. Doyoung made promises that he couldn't keep. Doyoung spoke flowery words that wilted all too soon, and Jaehyun was left wounded when the time came for the other to go.

_“It's not going to work anymore, Jae. I'm sorry.”_

Jaehyun knows why. He can't blame Doyoung entirely. Jaehyun was too engrossed in his career, too engrossed in trying to be the next big thing in the world of visual arts that he forgot what the world outside it feels like. He pushed aside every single thing that isn't a brush, a canvas or a tube of paint. Even his family couldn't reach him for quite some time. Doyoung got fed up, said he couldn't be with someone who had half the heart to journey into the future with him. Jaehyun didn't cry when his ex packed up some belongings and whispered his first and last goodbye. Doyoung hated saying bye, he said he preferred to say see you later because a good bye is an end. At least, Jaehyun is sure it was the last time they would see each other.

It's been two years and although Jaehyun is sure that he doesn't feel an ounce of affection for his ex anymore, to him it still doesn't feel right to move on and forget because a part of him is guilty, he knows half of the reasons why they crumbled is because of him. It's like a self-punishment to remain in the dark, to remain invisible and to remain lifeless. He also gave up on painting because all of a sudden things are never the same again. His strokes felt shaky, bumpy, the colors never matched and the emotions were not there. In short, his passion was gone and it took a toll on him.

_Enough is enough. Things won't be back to normal._

Jaehyun washes his mug and lets it dry before going back to the bedroom to look for a pair of clean clothes. He has to meet up with a friend or else he's going to lose it. Though he has constant thoughts of death, coming down to it is still scary. He decides then that he’s a pathetic, indecisive coward.

 

 

 

"Sorry, there's a road accident so everyone kind of just jammed up." Sicheng explains the second he sat down in the booth opposite Jaehyun. Jaehyun didn't watch the time anyway.

"So...what? You wanna go out today? Like, see a movie? Shop? Anything?" Jaehyun almost smiled because it's obvious that his friend is worried. It's the only thing he's good at now, worrying people that cares for him.

"I don't know, Sicheng. I just feel like if I stay one more second in that damned apartment, I'd get that bottle of tablets and do the unspeakable. I wanted a distraction, I knew you'd give it."

Jaehyun refused to meet the other's eyes, knowing what he'd see in them.

Sicheng stays mum for a minute, just staring at the man opposite him before slamming his palms down the table, effectively catching Jaehyun's attention. "Alright! Then let's go buy something. It's for my bathroom, I think I need a cute ass shower curtain. Then we'll get something to eat in the cinema. Get your booty up or I'll smack it good." Jaehyun groaned and that's enough for Sicheng to drag him off the seat.

 

 

 

"What did you think of the movie?" Sicheng asked as soon as they stepped out of the cinema, with Jaehyun not so far behind him carrying a half empty box of popcorn. "It's...good? I don't keep up with the...whatever you call the storyline in the comics but the visuals are good, I liked the costumes and the color, enough to make the whole thing look real." Jaehyun mindlessly answers but that got his friend's attention. Sicheng stops walking and grips the other's arm.

"Did you hear what you just said, Jaehyun?" Jaehyun raises a brow and shrugs. Sicheng has the capability to make everything dramatic. "You paid attention to the color and its life. Do you think you can paint again?" Sicheng pulls them to the side because a woman looked at them and he doesn't want anyone eavesdropping about a serious matter.

Jaehyun looks a little taken aback and suddenly feels the bugs crawling up his skin. He's anxious. He never thought of going back, never thought of trying once again, never thought picking himself up. "I...I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to. Not now, at least."

"I understand, Jae. But if not now, then when? I know I shouldn't be nosy but we're friends and I care for you. Let me try to help, like give you ideas on what you can do for the mean time? Just to have something to be busy on."

The grip on his arm loosens and Jaehyun meets Sicheng's eyes. There's no pity, just concern. Honestly, he doesn't really know what he wants to do. He's been hiding in the dark for two years and he forgot what the outside world is. He forgot how life works. He forgot how to be human just by simple interaction. He forgot the feeling of the heat of the sun touching his skin, the breath of air breezing past him and the sound of everyday living. He doesn't have the energy to start again. But if not now, then when? He's scared he will never find the courage after this.

"So...what can we do? You're on a break, right?" Jaehyun thinks he's going blind with how bright Sicheng's smile is.

 

 

 

Jaehyun hates a lot of things: from waking up in the morning to having to sleep at night. But one thing he really hates is travelling. Travelling takes up a lot of his energy even when he only has to sit the whole ride. But this is Sicheng's idea: _Getaway trip to the countryside with my bff!_

The trip was 90 minutes from Seoul to Jeonju by train. Jaehyun feels like his joints are glued together from how long he's sitting in the same position. As soon as they got off Jeonju station, they got in a taxi and Sicheng tells the driver to drop them off at a hotel. Jaehyun didn't hear the name.

The room is quite spacious, not that large but it's enough for two men - one with two large suitcases for whatever he brought and one with just a duffel bag. Guess who owns which.

"There's a nearby souvenir shop here. I researched, and we can visit the tourist spots for the whole week."

"Why did you bring a lot? It's just seven days." Jaehyun began stripping. He doesn't really mind the other being around him at such times. Sicheng has a girlfriend.

"Uh, I'm not like you. You can stay in the same pair of clothes for a few days. Gross. Did you not bring one more coat? You'll die of Hypothermia." An eye roll is what Sicheng gets before Jaehyun leaves him for a warm shower.

"Let's go around after we wash up!"

 

 

 

The atmosphere is notably different from the heart of Seoul. While Seoul is loud and wild, Jeonju is less than that and it gives Jaehyun a feeling of nostalgia. He has never set foot in Jeonju before but there's a squeeze in his heart as he looks around, as if the city holds a past memory he never made. The lights are not blinding, the wind is not too strong and there's soft music flowing in the air from establishments. It's like riding a cab during a rainy day while listening to old music. _Jaehyun feels like fainting._

"We've been walking around but I still can't find that goddamn shop. I swear this site is reliable!" Sicheng exclaims while stomping his foot on the snowy pavement.

"Maybe it's outdated? Check the site. And I'm tired, Sicheng. Can we sit down first?" Jaehyun is already eyeing the bench next to them. There's a small convenient store in front of them and he nudges Sicheng's side. "And I want hot choco." He lets the corner of his lips curl up a bit, a sorry excuse of a smile and that gets the other who's a huge softie for him.

"Fine. Wait here then we'll get back to being Dora the Explorer."

Jaehyun sits down as his friend goes to buy. He zips up his coat until the collar and slips his hands in the pockets, the half of his face buried in a scarf. From his spot, he can see Sicheng walking around the aisle, taking his sweet time scanning snacks and whatnot.

_I'm going to fall asleep at this point._

He’s about to go inside when something catches his attention. Jaehyun leaves the bench and tries to find the source of the softest voice he's ever heard. He can't point out what it is, it's not a song he knows but he's curious, because who the hell sings such a mellow song in the middle of a /small/ city, in a snowing December when everyone is supposedly warming up inside their homes?

Jaehyun stops walking when he saw him - the boy singing. There's an open wooden box in front of him and three people around, probably watching the boy perform. Some coins and a few bills are in the box.

_Ah, he's a street singer._

Seoul has a lot of public performers. People of different ages singing and dancing to the latest Kpop songs. Jaehyun remembers watching a bunch of high school kids dance to some popular song of an idol group. That was before he fell into depression. He wants to see another one of those street performances.

He glances at the direction he came from and seeing that Sicheng's yet to come out of the store, he watches the boy sing until the unknown song is done. The bystanders drop a few coins before leaving and Jaehyun suddenly feels panic rise up his chest because he doesn't have his wallet. Sicheng promised to treat him today.

The boy is just staring forward while holding what seems like a stick and Jaehyun doesn't know what to do, he doesn't want to leave without paying because that's an ass move and he's about to apologize to the boy and explain the predicament he's in when the boy smiles.

"That's my last song for today. I'm sorry if you still want to hear another song." Jaehyun stares wide eyed and gulps. Did the boy think Jaehyun wanted him to play again?

"Oh no! I mean...you don't have to. B-but I don't have even a little amount with me and I feel bad...? For watching you perform when I don't have money..." Jaehyun feels his cheeks heat up from embarrassment. The boy chuckles and waves his hand as if dismissing what Jaehyun said.

"It's fine. If you want, you can come back tomorrow and pay me. But it will be double since when you come back, you'll watch me sing a different song." The boy laughs and Jaehyun thinks the sound of his laughter is more beautiful than the song he sang. He has a pretty smile too.

Jaehyun scratches his cheek and nods. "I guess that's only fair, huh?"

"Oh, I was kidding! You don't have to do that. Consider it my Christmas present for you, kid."

Jaehyun snorts. "I'm not a kid. I'm a 23 year-old adult with no job and an unsure future." He wonders why the boy doesn't look at him and only stares forward as if he doesn't see Jaehyun. He suddenly feels a little offended because he knows he's good looking and the boy is also a little attractive and Jaehyun has been appreciating said boy's face for a while now but he gets nothing in return.

"Ah, you know, you don't have to be sure of your life now. Let yourself figure it out slowly 'cause when you try to hurry it up without knowing what you really want to do, it will be just as easy to lose it all." The boy bends to close the little wooden box  before picking up still without looking away from whatever he's looking at.

Jaehyun pouts at that and before he realizes what he's doing, he blocks the boy's way. "Didn't your mom tell you that not looking into people's eyes is rude? I'm talking to you...and trying to be your friend!"

The boy's smile dies and Jaehyun panicks once again. Did I offend him? Fuck, what if he's some jerk and he will punch me now what the hell I'm doㅡ

But the boy smiles again and reaches out his hand, only to hold Jaehyun by the arm.

"I can't see you, sir. I'm sorry. If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm blind."

It’s  like a bucket of ice was poured on top of Jaehyun's head. He's been an insensitive man and it's so rude, he already didn't pay and now he indirectly mocked a disabled person. _Fuck him, really._

"Oh my god, I'm very sorry! I didn't know-- I didn't mean to say that!" The boy only continues to smile and pats Jaehyun's arm.

"That's fine, no hard feelings. I'm assuming you're not from here? Because I know I've been singing for the same people. At least that's what it seems to me."

The boy's hand left Jaehyun's arm and the latter immediately misses the warmth. "O-okay, then I guess--"

"I'm Taeyong."

"What?" Jaehyun grips his coat tightly against him. It's only now that he realizes the boy is wearing such inappropriate clothes for the season.

"You said you're trying to be friends with me. My name is Taeyong, what's yours?" The boy, Taeyong, gives a little bounce on his heels as if excited to know what Jaehyun's name is. He probably is.

"I'm Jaehyun. Jung Jaehyun . And yeah, I'm just a tourist."

Taeyong laughs and pats the ground with his stick. "Nice to meet you, Jaehyun. I have to go now. If you really wanna come back tomorrow, I'll be here again. See you later!"

And before Jaehyun can say something, Sicheng chooses that moment to come out of the store with a bag of snacks and a cup of hot choco for Jaehyun.

"Hey, you! What you doin' there! Come here!" Jaehyun rushes back and momentarily forgets the boy he just met and as he takes the drink from his friend, he turns around to find that spot empty, Taeyong nowhere in sight.

 

 

 

"You what? You met a blind singer whose smile is so beautiful you forgot I exist?" Sicheng smirks as Jaehyun blushes once again before throwing a pillow, hitting the other square on the face. "Hey! You brat!"

"Stop teasing me! So what if I think he's beautiful? That doesn't mean anything."

Jaehyun kicks off his shoes and drops himself unceremoniously on the bed, glaring.

"You just said he's beautiful. So what if it means anything, Jaehyun? Do you want to see him again? You said he sounds like he's expecting to see you-- I mean meet you again tomorrow. We can come back? But after we visit an attraction."

Sicheng is relentless when he wants to. "Plus I need to meet him! I wanna see for myself the boy that makes my friend blush."

"Ugh." Jaehyun thinks Taeyong is already one of Jeonju's most beautiful attractions. His eyes, although sightless are sparkling, his smile is really pretty (mostly due to his pretty lips) and his skin is unblemished. It's like Taeyong is the sun personified.

"Fine." He sits up and digs through the bag of snacks Sicheng bought.

"What do you mean _fine_?"

"I mean fine, let's go around Jeonju and come see Taeyong after that."

Sicheng grins and sits on Jaehyun’s bed. "So you admit you have a crush on him?"

"Shut up! This is why we never found that shop you were talking about. You're more interested in my escapades." Jaehyun cups his cheek and internally cussed. Yeah, he's blushing. And that doesn't mean anything.

He replays what had transpired earlier, from the moment he sat on the bench until the scene where Sicheng emerged from the convenient store. Not going to lie, Jaehyun remembers everything they've said to each other. Taeyong’s voice is a little deep when he's talking but lighter and softer when he's singing.

See you later. Does it mean anything?

 

 

 

"Gosh, even in winter, there are a lot of people here! I was expecting just a few." Jaehyun doesn't really feel like exploring the village. He can only see historical houses and a lot of pots. Like, a lot.

"Can we transfer to another site, Sicheng? This isn't really my cup of tea."

"What's your cup of tea? Locking yourself up in your room and not eating at all? This is what you signed up for."

Jaehyun sighs and follows Sicheng around, serving as the other's personal photographer. It's fun, though, making Sicheng do different poses as Jaehyun pretends to take a picture of him when he's actually taking selfies.

He receives an earful of insult after that stunt.

Hanok village is as old looking as it can get, at least to Jaehyun. He won't exchange the toxicity of Seoul for this. Because in Seoul, he can die without anyone giving a damn. This place is too quiet for him and as far as he knows, places like this see death as a big deal.

It's already afternoon when the two decides to come back, with Sicheng reminding Jaehyun of what's about to come. "Come on! You promised me you'll bring me to him!"

Jaehyun doesn't break promises. Not like his ex.

 

 

 

"Hi, Taeyong!" The boy stops singing, having been disturbed and surprised of the unfamiliar voice. There isn't any audience that time, people are not crowding establishments and it's not like everyone wants to watch a street singer. A blind one at that.

"I'm Sicheng, Jaehyun's friend. Jaehyun is with me!" Sicheng waves at Taeyong's face and receives a slap on the back of the head from Jaehyun.

"Ah, Jaehyun. You came back. And nice to meet you too, Sicheng." Taeyong smiles and picks up the wooden box. "I thought you wouldn't come see me again, Jaehyuna."

Jaehyun raises a brow at the nickname and composes himself when Sicheng gives him a knowing glance. "Ah, y-yeah. I wanted to hear you sing. And I got money now." He eyes the small box and sees a few coins. "Not much customers today?"

"Some only listen without paying." There's a hint of playfulness in Taeyong's voice and Jaehyun finds it too late to stop himself from smiling. He puts a roll of bill in the box and hums. "You don't hear bills when they drop, though."

"Thank you, Jaehyun. Do you want to request a song?"

It's getting dark outside and Sicheng is shivering. The two share a look and Jaehyun makes up his mind.

"Wanna come over to ours? Let's have dinner." Sicheng coughs. He's really getting impulsive these days.

 

 

 

"It's really warm here." Taeyong gladly sits on Jaehyun's bed because the couch is currently occupied by Sicheng's clothes. "Are you sure it's okay for me to dine with you?"

"Of course! Because Jaehyun doesn't really like visitors and strangers and inviting people over but he did! That means you're special so don't worry about it."

Jaehyun wants to wipe off that smug smile but he can't act childishly in front of Taeyong ㅡ even though the other can't see anything.

"Okay, thank you so much, Jaehyun and Sicheng. You're really nice to me." The box is on top of his lap and one of his hands caresses the comforter. "This feels soft."

"Where do you live, Taeyong?" Jaehyun dials for room service while his friend talks to the other.

"A little far from here. I live with my mother, but she's too sick to make money so I try to help. My father is out of the picture and I don't have siblings." There’s a beat of silence as Sicheng, for once in his life finds  it hard to comment. Jaehyun saves the awkward situation by saying something about what he ordered for dinner.

"I like fried chicken. It's my favorite. Thank you for getting that." Taeyong giggles and Jaehyun thinks he's about to burst because that sounds _so fucking adorable,_ so cute and so innocent that he really wants to kick Sicheng out and hug Taeyong after.

"You're welcome. I'm happy to serve." The blind boy laughs at that and Jaehyun can't believe it. His heart is racing and his face feels hot but he decides to hell with it, Taeyong is cute and he doesn't care that he's a total stranger.

"I should've brought my girlfriend with me so I don't feel left out with all the flirting going around." Sicheng says and Jaehyun finally kicked him in the shin. Sicheng shrieks.

"We apologize for that, Sicheng. We didn't mean to make you feel that way." The teasing remark makes Jaehyun want to melt in a puddle. Did Taeyong understand what Sicheng meant? Did Taeyong think they're flirting?

 

 

 

"Thank you for the dinner. It's getting late and I don't want to impose. I appreciate this so much." Taeyong bows and stands up, coin box already clutched to his side.

"I'll take you home. Sicheng, stay here. I'll be back soon."

"Oh no, Jaehyun! You don't have to do this, I can find my way home just fine." Jaehyun shakes his head and puts his coat around Taeyong.

"Do you know your way around this place? You haven't been here before, have you?" Jaehyun smirks when he catches the flush of Taeyong's cheeks. Red looks good on Taeyong's skin.

"Thought so too. Let's go."

 

 

 

The village where Taeyong lives is quite far, indeed. Jaehyun wonders how the other travels to the center of the city.

"There's an uncle that goes there in the morning to pick fruits that he delivers around from the market. He takes me with him in his truck but since he has to come back early, I just walk home."

"You just walk? Taeyong, we took a cab just to get here. That's ridiculous."

Taeyong laughs and shakes his head before holding tightly on Jaehyun's shoulder. "You just think it's far but not really. You haven't been here before so you don't know your way around yet."

Jaehyun smiles and pokes the other on the side. "You're teasing me."

"Friends do that, right?"

Jaehyun stares at Taeyong's side profile and thinks that the world is unfair. How can the universe do this to someone so beautiful and innocent?

"Do you know how beautiful you are?"

Taeyong stops walking. Jaehyun stops walking and he doesn't regret what just left his mouth. Taeyong is flustered and it's such a sight to see. Jaehyun wants to take a photo but he thinks that's rude.

"No one ever told me that." Jaehyun sighs and gently tugs Taeyong's hand, urging him to walk again.

"Well, you are. Now you know. I just... I just hope you could see what I see, Taeyong."

There's only a small hum in between deafening silence before the blind man stops walking again and pats the wall next to him.

"This is my house, Jaehyun. Thank you for taking me home."

The house is small, there's barely a light illuminating the front door. Jaehyun feels his heart squeeze ㅡ he doesn't want to leave just yet.

But Taeyong is already walking away from him. Jaehyun mumbles a see you later when a voice rings through the quiet of the night.

"Maybe I got blind so someone else can appreciate my beauty."

Jaehyun couldn't sleep that night. He came back with a look that kept Sicheng from asking anything. It bugs him, whatever it is he's feeling about the blind boy. He wants to tell Taeyong how beautiful he is every chance he gets, he wants to stare at him and watch those eyes sparkle every time Jaehyun says something. He wants to make the other smile because it's so radiant and he's convinced Taeyong really is the sun.

He isn't sure about it but he has an idea, and the idea scares him. It's been two years since the last time he dated, two years of wallowing in darkness, two years of self-punishment and he thinks he doesn't deserve whatever he's feeling right now. He doesn't believe in love at first sight because it's as unreal as it sounds. And if ever it's real, would Taeyong feel the same? When he doesn't even know how Jaehyun looks like?

And he's only staying for a week. Two days are gone just like that. Taeyong doesn't know that. He doesn't really have a plan on telling the other because he doubts Taeyong thinks any of this is important. He'll forget Jaehyun just as quick as they met.

 _Fuck_ , he really likes Taeyong. He likes a total stranger. Is this even possible? He wants to see Taeyong every day.

Sicheng is going to shit on him for this.

 

 

 

"I'm going somewhere, Sicheng. Can we go around Jeonju tomorrow?"

Jaehyun is already at the door when he gets a reply.

"What are you trying to do, Jaehyun?" The younger looks at his friend in confusion.

"What do you mean? I'm just goint to bu--"

"No. What are you trying to do with Taeyong? Don't you think this is all too familiar? Didn't you get together with Doyoung only after two dates--"

"What does this have to do with him? Taeyong... Taeyong is different, okay? Doyoung and I fucked up that's why I was dead. Look, Sicheng. Don't I look alive to you now?"

“Yeah, they’re totally different. Doyoung knew what both of you did but Taeyong is blind and would he know what you’re about to do? I know I said crushing on him….even so soon… is okay. But Jaehyun, do you really want to do this to him?”

Jaehyun is gripping the door knob so hard. He's not going to blow up now. Sicheng is just concerned and he knows he's being absurd. This is going too fast. He doesn't even know how Taeyong feels about him.

"I'm happy you're actually glowing a little, Jaehyun. I'm happy. But Taeyong is different. He's blind and he's a stranger and we’re not staying here permanently so... how, Jaehyun? How are you going to make this work?" Sicheng is looking at Jaehyun from the bed, eyes swimming with a mixture of emotions.

"I'm going to figure it out."

"Fine. Just don't mess up. You're going back to Seoul, Jaehyun. Don't be impulsive because things done in haste crumble just as quick."

 

 

 

The house looks as gloomy in daylight. Jaehyun hopes he isn't too late and the other hasn't left yet.

"Hello? Taeyong, it's Jaehyun. Are you there?"

There's a sound of something, like a plate breaking into pieces. Jaehyun doesn't waste time and barges in, finding poor Taeyong kneeling on the floor and collecting the broken pieces.

"Taeyong! Stop, you're gonna get hurt!" Jaehyun pulls Taeyong away and makes the other sit on the worn out couch before cleaning up the mess with the broom nearby.

"Jaehyun, what are you doing here?" Taeyong looks so lost. Jaehyun almost feels bad until he hears someone else's voice join in, asking for the blind boy.

"Is that your mother?" Jaehyun helps Taeyong walk to a room and there he finds an old woman in bed, looking extremely sick.

"Mother."

"What was that, Taeyong? Did you get hurt?" The woman looks up and finds Jaehyun's gaze. "Who are you?"

"I'm...Jaehyun. Taeyong's friend." Jaehyun lets go of Taeyong's arm and stands awkwardly at the side. "I wanted to visit him. But if it's a bother, I'll just go. I also didn't tell him beforehand."

"No, it's fine. You're the friend he talks about."

"Mother!" Taeyong has a hand covering his mouth and his cheeks are red. Jaehyun smiles.

"Yes, ma'am. I hope it's okay, me befriending him." The woman nods and rubs her temple.

"That's perfectly fine, young man. And go entertain the visitor, Taeyong. Don't just hide here."

 

 

 

"I'm sorry I impulsively dropped by." They're sitting next to each other on the couch after Taeyong made some juice for Jaehyun. It's too quiet and Jaehyun is almost convinced he made the wrong decision of coming over.

"I also wanted to meet you today anyway. Good thing I woke up late, huh. Or else you wouldn't catch me here." Taeyong smiles and clasps his hands together on his lap. He looks nervous.

"Is your mother that sick? Why don't you take her to the doctor?"

"I don't have money, Jaehyun. The amount I get from performing in the streets is barely enough to let us eat three times a day. Plus mother said she's going to be alright." There's a hint of sadness in the younger's voice and Jaehyun can't help but cup the other's cheek. Taeyong flinches but doesn't pull away.

"If anything happens, ask that uncle you know." _I can't be here for you once the week is over,_ he wants to say but he doesn't know how Taeyong is going to react. He doesn't really want to know.

"O-okay." Taeyong takes Jaehyun's hand and holds it on his lap before looking away. "Are we only going to talk about my mother?"

"Well, what do you want to talk about?" Jaehyun gives the other's hand a squeeze.

"Let's talk about why you want to see me."

There's a lump in his throat but Jaehyun won't back down. His heart is hammering against his chest and Taeyong is waiting.

"Taeyong, has anyone ever told you how angelic you sound when you sing? Has anyone ever told you how dazzling your smile is? If none, then are you willing to let me be the first one to tell you all of those things? I've just met you, but every single detail about you is already stuck in my head."

Taeyong is looking into Jaehyun's direction with unsure eyes. Jaehyun hates how vulnerable he looks right now. The confident singer he met on the first day ( ~~the other day, literally~~ ) is gone and replaced with a boy who looks so afraid and unfamiliar.

"That's so absurd, Jaehyun. How can someone like you with so many opportunities in his hands be interested in a handicapped? Did you like my voice? You will meet a better singer. I have nothing in me. You can't possibly feel...something for me."

"Then what about you, Taeyong? What do you feel about me?"

Taeyong's eyes are glassy now and he looks away again. A minute passes before Jaehyun gets what he wants to hear.

"I liked you the first time I heard your voice and when you panicked because you didn't have money to give. I thought it was cute."

Jaehyun scoots closer and boops Taeyong's nose. "You said it's impossible for me to like you because you think you have nothing to offer. But you liked me without knowing how I look like, without seeing me. Now, do you still have something to say to refute my reasons?"

Taeyong only pouts and slaps Jaehyun’s thigh.

The two spend the rest of the week practically glued together. Sicheng decides to visit the different attractions alone because no matter what he said, Jaehyun and Taeyong just don't want anyone to disturb them both. Sicheng doesn't forget to give Jaehyun another reminder which the other kept in mind.

_Just don't hurt Taeyong, Jae. Don't be like the person who killed you._

Jaehyun lets Taeyong tell him things about himself like how his family got into an accident and he lost his father as well as his sight. Taeyong once dreamed about being a teacher because he loves kids and teaching them music was his goal. Jaehyun already knows how much Taeyong loves fried chicken and apart from those, he learned that the younger wants to be able to see once again.

"Because I want to see you, Jaehyun. I want to see the man who appreciated my beauty for me."

Taeyong discovers a lot of things about Jaehyun. How the other was a rebel in high school, vandalizing restrooms and cheating on exams, how Jaehyun likes salad and sweet treats like cookies and bubble tea. They find a bubble tea store one particular day and Taeyong decided that it's his favorite now. He also learns that Jaehyun has a high alcohol tolerance and that he loves his family although he fails to let them know.

Lastly, Jaehyun tells Taeyong about his passion for painting.

"Why did you stop? When you love something, you always find reasons to continue doing it."

"Things happened and I couldn't find a reason to paint again."

"Couldn't, you said. So did you find it now?"

Jaehyun finishes his bubble tea and holds Taeyong’s free hand.

"Yes, I found it."

 

 

 

The bags are packed. It's their last night and they have to take the train back to Seoul early in the morning.

"What are you going to do, Jae? Did you tell him you're coming back to visit?"

Jaehyun remains quiet and that probably pressed Sicheng's buttons because the next thing he knows, there's a hand mark on his cheek.

Sicheng slaps like a bitch.

"What the fuck, Sicheng?! Why did you do that?!"

"I told you, Jaehyun! Don't be like the person who killed you! Tell me you didn't make him feel special for a few days just to leave him in the dark. He’s already fucking blind, Jae. Don’t make it worse." Sicheng is seething in anger and Jaehyun is actually feeling scared. His friend never got mad like this before.

"I'm gonna tell him now, okay? Can you relax? Why are you so hung up about how he might feel when I leave?" Jaehyun cups his cheek and feels the skin sting. He needs to ice that soon.

"Because once you leave, no one is going to be there for him like I did for you when you wanted to stop living."

 

 

 

Jaehyun closes the door and leads Taeyong to the blind boy's room. The younger's mother is already asleep in her own room and Jaehyun's glad because that's one less problem.

"Jaehyun, why are you here? It's so late. Do you know what time it is?" Jaehyun knows what time it is. He also knows it's the last time he's going to see Taeyong. He makes the younger sit on the single bed and kneels before him.

"Do you trust me?" Taeyong frowns and stares at the space just above Jaehyun's shoulder.

"Of course I do. Why did you ask me? What is this for?"

"Let me make love to you."

A loud gasp escapes Taeyong's lips and his hands tremble on his lap.

"Do you trust me, Taeyong?"

"..."

Jaehyun stares into the pair of shaky eyes.

"Yes, I do."

 

 

 

"Shh. It will feel good later. Don't cry, baby." Jaehyun forced himself to keep still, to not move and do anything that will hurt Taeyong. Apparently, he's too big for the other and Taeyong is overwhelmed. The boy beneath him nods and tries to relax with the help of Jaehyun's kisses and touches.

"I'm fine. Y-you can move..."

Jaehyun cups the other's cheeks and kisses his lips before pulling back until only the tip of his cock is left inside Taeyong’s tight ass and slams back in, immediately creating a steady rhythm. The boy can only close his eyes and whine in between the kiss, his hands clutching the thin sheets to find something to hold on to. Jaehyun's thrusts are quick and every pound into Taeyong's entrance makes the younger release the softest sounds Jaehyun has heard.

His hand leaves Taeyong's cheek and pins the other's hips down, preventing him from moving too much. Taeyong, helpless under Jaehyun's body, pulls at the sheets and whimpers a little louder, wanting more.

"Hush, baby. You don't w-want to wake the neighbors, don't you." Jaehyun angles his hips and smirks when Taeyong moans out his name.

"Oh god, mmm, Jaehyun... P-please, there, _please_..." Jaehyun curses under his breath and locks Taeyong's legs around his waist before pounding harder, abusing that spot that makes the younger arch his back beautifully.

"You're so beautiful, Taeyong. The most beautiful I've ever seen." Jaehyun drinks all of the younger's moans by kissing him, tongue licking around the boy's mouth before pulling away for some air.

Taeyong reaches around Jaehyun, hugging the older and letting his nails dig on the broad back. He's close, so close. Jaehyun wraps a hand around the neglected cock and starts to stroke it in sync with his thrusts.

"F-fuck. Hey, Taeyong. Tell me. Tell me how much you like me.”

The younger opens his teary eyes and lets out more whines before speaking, although in broken syllables.

"Ahh – a lot. Enough t-to find a reason for me to wake up t-tomorrow just to be with you.”

Jaehyun chokes up and buries his face in the crook of Taeyong's neck to hide the tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

"Come for me, baby. Be a good boy and come for me." Taeyong doesn't need to be told twice before he's shooting thick ropes of cum on both of their stomach. His whole body trembles in pleasure and his walls tighten painfully around Jaehyun's cock. A few more thrusts and Jaehyun's filling him up with his cum. Jaehyun withdraws after riding out their highs and settles next to the blind boy before gathering the limp body in his arms.

"Are you okay? Tired?" Taeyong hum and curls up in Jaehyun's hold. "Go to sleep, baby. Have a good night."

"Mm. Good night, Jaehyun. _See you later._ "

 

 

 

His phone has been ringing nonstop and Jaehyun is sure that it's Sicheng.

"What do you want?" He's stepping in his shoes and he checks himself in the mirror before taking his keys and running out his apartment.

"I've been calling! That CEO who wanted your painting last week notified me about the price he wants to negotiate with you. He said he can't contact you!"

"Tell him to fuck off because I already told him Sunset is not for sale. Don't call me again, I have to go somewhere. Talk to you later."

"Jaehyun, wait!"

Jaehyun pockets his phone and leans towards the passenger seat to buckle up the canvas sitting shotgun. It's wrapped in paper and he has to take care of it, not even scratches should pass.

"I'll come back for you, Taeyong. Don't worry anymore.”

 

 

 

Going back to Jeonju after several months is nerve-wracking. Jaehyun left without a word when Taeyong fell asleep. He didn't have the heart to say good bye. He only left his coat next to the younger and just like that, he disappeared from the blind boy's life. Even Sicheng doesn’t know what really happened, with all the lies Jaehyun told him instead. He wanted to fix himself first before he could bring Taeyong and his mother with him to Seoul. He needed to be stable and get back on track. He attended counseling and enrolled in painting classes. He made sure to send money to Taeyong's address so the boy wouldn't have to perform in the streets again. He spent time with his family and used the rest of each day to finally paint the first piece for his comeback ㅡ Sunset. It will be his present to Taeyong.

Jaehyun knows Taeyong might not forgive him but he's determined to win him back. Jaehyun is now capable to love  and commit again and take care of someone else aside from himself. He knows he'd been the worst for leaving Taeyong but he wants to make things right. And he will be with the younger this time.

 

 

 

He parks his car in front of the house that looks even worse than before. His heart is ricocheting but he gathers his courage and steps out of the vehicle carrying the painting – Sunset, in his arms.

"Taeyong? Taeyong. It's Jaehyun. Please open up." Jaehyun waits for someone but no one comes out. "Taeyong, please! It's Jaehyun!"

"No one's home, kid."

Jaehyun turns and sees an old man. "What? Taeyong isn't here? Where is he?"

The old man throws his cigarette on the ground and points at a direction. "At the columbarium. You'll find him there."

Columbarium.

Jaehyun’s heart feels like ripping out of his chest at the ugly possibility. For the past months he wasn’t in Jeonju, not once did he hear anything from Taeyong or his mother. He thought it was due to the lack of means of communication or Taeyong erasing Jaehyun from his life.

_God, don’t let it be. Don’t take Taeyong away from me._

Jaehyun hastily gets in his car and speeds up, not even parking properly before running into the building. He's about to run up the second floor when he catches sight of a woman sitting in front of a wall of urns. He doesn’t want to impose but he recognizes her. He will recognize her anywhere.

"Mrs. Kim?" The woman looks at him and there's a look of surprise on her face. She stands up and grips the sides of her dress.

"Jaehyun. Did you come to see him?"

Jaehyun nods and holds Sunset tightly. "Yes. I need to apologize properly. I've made a huge mistake."

Mrs. Kim stares blankly for a moment before a ghost of a smile adorns her face. “Yes, a huge mistake. It was the first time Taeyong cried that hard, not even when he lost his sight did he drown in much sorrow. How does it feel like doing that to someone, Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun lets out a breath and eyes the urn behind a thick glass. “Who…”

The woman faces the urn once again and sighs. “He’s gone. We lost him.”

The canvas slips from Jaehyun’s hold and pathetically falls on the ground with a loud thud. Jaehyun doesn’t feel anything at the moment and only stares at the woman in front of him. His heart doesn’t beat faster, it’s like it stopped pumping all at once.

The silence is too deafening and Jaehyun gathers the last of his energy to pick up Sunset with a shaky hand before finding his voice.

“I killed him, didn’t I? Sicheng… my friend warned me. But I didn’t listen. Fuck, I didn’t listen.”

He leans against the wall and stares at nothing before a tear slides down his face. Jaehyun doesn’t know what to do next. He drove here for Taeyong, to ask for Taeyong’s forgiveness without a hope of getting one. He expected cries of hate, punches and slaps, even a cold shoulder if Taeyong didn’t really want to waste a breath on him. This is not what he expected - anything but this.

“What are you talking about? He died of sickness. This is not your fault.”

“Everything is my fault, ma’am. If I didn’t leave, he wouldn’t suffer so much to the point that I’d find him here!”

“N-no. You’re misunderstanding this.”

“I understand all of it. I did this to hi-,”

“Mother? What’s happening?”

Jaehyun whips his head and sees him. Taeyong is standing a few feet away holding a transparent container of what seems like food, his eyes shifting between his mother and Jaehyun.

“Taeyong…? Taeyong. I thought-“

“His father died. I was trying to tell you.”

Taeyong approaches his mother and hands the container to her before facing Jaehyun with a look of confusion etched on his face.

Jaehyun drops Sunset once again and reaches out to touch Taeyong, only for the boy to flinch away. This catches Jaehyun off guard. How did Taeyong know he was going to touch him?

_Does this mean - ?_

“Who are you? Do we know you?” Taeyong balls up his hands into fists and looks at his mother.

Mrs. Kim then gently pats his cheek. “Jaehyun has something to tell you, son.”

 

 

 

It’s awkward. Taeyong is not talking and it looks like he doesn’t have a plan to speak anytime soon. Jaehyun hands the canvas to the younger and Taeyong surprisingly takes it yet without a word. Taeyong unwraps the painting and Jaehyun takes it as a sign to speak for himself.

“I call it Sunset. You are the sun and I’m the water. You can interpret it however you want, but I have my own meaning for it. I believe I’m the sun and you’re the water that swallows me. The sunset happens every single day, and so I come home to you – every single day. Physically, I couldn’t do that but my heart was always in your hands during the nights I couldn’t hold you. I know the sun doesn’t disappear in the water literally, but its reflection touches the ocean, and it’s like me meeting you back then – loving you yet not being able to call you mine.”

Taeyong stares at the work of art before wrapping his arms around it, hugging the canvas.

“I’m sorry, Taeyong. I was selfish and I didn’t think of you. I was weak and I didn’t trust myself, I didn’t trust you. I made you believe I wouldn’t leave you but I did. I’m the worst. I’m not…I’m not expecting you to forgive me but I hope you know that I loved you during the little amount of time we were together and I still do. For the days we spent together you made me feel alive. You brought me back to life, Taeyong.”

“You mean to say…I gave you a reason to live and you took away mine?”

Taeyong looks at Jaehyun and takes the older’s hand in his.

“I never hated you, Jaehyun. I was hurt but I knew it would happen. We were just too good to be true. I never blamed you because before you hurt me, you also made me the happiest.”

A smile graces Taeyong’s face before he leans in to drop the softest kiss on the corner of Jaehyun’s mouth.

“I loved you and I still do.”

Jaehyun, with overflowing emotions in his chest pulls Taeyong in a tight embrace and showers the younger boy’s face with little pecks.

“Oh my god, Taeyong. Thank you, thank you.”

There’s a resounding giggle in the air and Taeyong lets go of the painting to wrap Jaehyun in his arms.

“You don’t have to thank me, silly. Thank you for helping us. I got to take her to the hospital because of you and also, we had the money for my operation. My father came back and before he died, he told me he would give me his eyes.”

Jaehyun immediately misses the warmth when Taeyong pulls away.

“I can now see how handsome you are.”

Jaehyun chuckles and interlocks their fingers. “Come to Seoul with me, Taeyong. You and your mother - I don’t want to leave you again.”

Taeyong rests his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder before closing his eyes, feeling the gentle breeze of the wind.

“Okay. But let me nap first, Jaehyun. _Then I’ll see you later_.”

 

xx

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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